Stephanie Miles Heumann *October 16th 2013*

As I mentioned on the post about Sam's birthday, Steven's Sister-In -Law Stephanie was diagnosed with a cancer called Metastatic Sarcomatoid Carcinoma. Over the last 6 month's Steven had gone to visit a few times to help support David Stephanie and Tyler with whatever they needed. Sometimes it was mowing the lawn and cooking dinner and sometimes it was driving Tyler to school or even just taking
David to the comic book store an the movies. This was obviously a very difficult thing for them to be going through! It was rough for us here as well because we felt like we could be much more helpful if we were there all the time. There were several trips to the ER. Stephanie's cancer started as a lump in her groin. At the begining of 2013 David's position at work was done away with. He had been working as a director at ITT Tech and while working on his masters degree. When he was demoted to just a teacher (along with all the other directors) they lost their medical insurance but decide they would just float it until he graduated so he could finish school. He was getting a discount on his education so it made sense to continue part time work while he finished up his degree.  Because they had no insurance Stephanie put off going to the

doctor until it started to become very painful. Once admitted to the hospital she was there for a week before they even did much to help her after diagnosing her with cancer it took a very long time to find a

doctor who was willing to treat her because she in't have insurance.  It was a very frustration process. I can not imagine how their family was feeling during this time.  Then you add to all of that david trying to get his masters and Tyler trying to be a normal Senior in High School.  What a rough rough time!

There were unsuccessful Chemo treatments where the cancer actually grew but Stephanie lost her beautiful long red hair.  After that she tried radiation. Surgery wasn't an option because the cancer was wrapped all around arteries and she would likely bleed out. Stephenie wasn't much of a fighter before this. She would spend her time alone in the house watching tv. Lots of the family have issues with how she ha
d been living her life so it was easier to be supportive of David that it was to be supportive of her. One
day during a temple visit I had Stephanie an their situation on my mind.  The spirit whispered to me "I uderstand your feelings for her. The Lord knows her weaknesses but he also knows her strengths an
d they will serve her well in the after life." In that moment I knew that Stephanie would not win this battle. Around this same time David and Stephanie had also began to believe that she would not live but that they should fight as hard as they could. Stephanie's family felt she woul make it an woul not accept the promptings that David and Stephanie had recieved. At one point an uncle even gave her a blessing to live and said the only reason the cancer was still there is because they didn't have enough faith. We were all SO angry!  But then it hit me to start praying for them. Here I was far away and for some reason the Lord blessed me with the knowledge that she wouldn't make it so I knew that he could do the same for her family.

Over Labor day weekend Stephanie's family all went for a visit and took family pictures. I LOVE this photo they took of their little family.

On October 10th (I think) things weren't going well. Stephanie asked David to give her a blessing to die. He wanted to wait until the next day. He called and Steven and his mom jumped in the car and headed out to Sacramento the next day. Stephanie's parents were out of town and they also got to Sacramento as soon as possible. She was hopsitallized for lung and leg blood clots and infection. Friday night (the 11th) David gave her the blessing just before Steven and his mom arrived. One of the doctors asked if she was sure she was done fighting. Steph finally said, "If I was your wife would you tell me to keep fighting?" After that he stopped asking and became warm and friedly to her. Saturday Oct 12th she was out of it and having conversations with her grandfathers and reaching for things that weren't there. They we're sure she would die that night. The next morning she woke up acting like normal and asked David when her funeral was going to be. David laughed and said they were planning for Saturday  but she wasn't cooperating. Stephanie took this day of lucidity to bare her testimony to friends and family. A housekeeper for the hospital overheard. It turned out that she had lost a son in an accident. She usually cleans another room first but something kept telling her to clean Stephanie's room first. She was cleaning the bathroom an came out crying an asked about eternal families. Stephanie's mom got her in touch with the missionaries. She frequently came by to check on Stephanie everyday after that. Stephanie started saying that she saw a line of people. David told her to get in line. But she didn't know anyone and kept saying that no one was coming for her yet. She expressed frustration saying that she didn't know how to die. On Tuesday and Wednesday she would just sleep an had stopped speaking. Steven returned home around 7:20 Wednesday night. We got a call from David at 8:40 because he had been trying to call Mom but he couldn't reach her. He quickly told Steven that Stephanie had passed but wanted to talk to mom first. He called us after with more details.  David was supposed to teach a class that night but felt he should not go to work so he and Tyler stayed at the hospital with Stephanie. Tyler had been talking to her about his memories and suddenly noticed blood coming out of her mouth. David went to to turn her over to help her cough it out and she was gone. Don (Stephanie's dad) was there too. After getting off the phone with David - Steven pointed to the sky and said , "You figured it out!"

Although I had some frustrations with Stephanie when we stayed with her I know what the spirit told me is true. After that experience in the temple I started to focus on all the things I love about Stephanie. She is always 100% focused on whomever she is talking to. She shows genuine concern and love for you while you speak. She may not have kept a super clean house or been a fantastic host but she was an amazing listener and in the grand scheme of things that is WAY more important. I love her dearly and now that she is gone I can often feel her close by and I know others can as well.

A while back (december I think) when Emily was getting ready to go to the MTC  we all went to the temple (actually I didn't go because they went to Salt Lake and with the drive I didn't think I could leave live that long but I met them for dinner). Lithia had an empty seat next to her and felt Stephanie sitting next to her. Lithia had the very strong impression that Stephanie would be there for all of her nieces an nephews when they got through for their endowments.