Grandma Moves in (July 12th, 2014)

Considering the impact this has had on our family, I figured it warranted it's own post.  

July 12th we went to move my mom. She had not been being very cooperative. Over the past few months she and I would have the same fight at least once a week. Sometimes in front of my kids. Earlier that week we had it again on the phone. It consists of "what's wrong with my health?" "Why can't I stay a member of my ward." "I'm capable of taking care of myself." "Doesn't my thoughts on what the spirit is saying matter?" - there were also misconceptions. She seemed to think that we were trying to sell her house or not let her go to family night with her friends or that she could no longer spend the night with Blake on Tuesdays. After this conversation for the umpteenth time she hung up on me. It happens. It has many times. This time I felt very strongly that I should call her back. With a prayer in my heart I did. It went really well. It went really well. I told her that just because she won't be a member of that ward doesn't mean she looses her friends. She has been visiting a woman who had moved for at least a year since she moved. I'm sure her friends will do the same for her. I told her that I know it's hard. It is hard for all of us. I wish she was healthy enough to care for herself. She said that we make her feel useless and worthless. I told her that isn't our intention and that we wouldn't be fighting for her to live a longer life if she has no value. In the end she thanked me for calling and said she felt better. The next time we talked she asked about "moving day". Things seemed to be looking better. 

Then Friday night Eric called. Nicole found my mom on the phone and a phone number that said "adult protective services." We were upset. Turned out she was trying to find someone to come live with her. When we got to her house there was a note on the door. I thought maybe she had ran away but she has gone to breakfast with friends. We cleaned up so Spence could take photos of my moms house so we could remember what it was like. Around 9:30 my mom, Dave and Saundra Gunnerson and Marilyn Shaw showed up. They started asking questions. Dave talked to the boys and the women talked to me. I was a bit offensive. Then Dave called us all in. Eric wanted to punch him but resisted. I think we all handled things pretty well. 

Once it was clear that she was in bad health Dave told my mom that he needed to come and find out what was going on so he could tell the neighborhood. He now knew (after about a 2 hour conversation with all of is while Nicole and Trev were sneaking beds out the front door) that she has health problems and that it is "probably" best for her to move in with me. That her children have her best interest at heart. After that she was very cooperative. 

Moving was exhausting - I think it was mostly emotional stuff manifesting as physical because I wasn't physically moving much. I looked through books and stuff while the boys moved big stuff. Evan and his family showed up too. They were in town but we didn't know if they were coming.

On Tuesday I called my neighbor whose husband has dementia and asked for any tips. She suggested a photo album. I went the extra mile and got quotes and letters from everyone and made a nice photo book. I loved having my brothers' input and thoughts.

Anywho, Lomaxs invited is all to dinner. Then we got her settled and Steven and I went to the movies. Things have been great. She went to Blake's Tuesday and then home until tomorrow (Friday) so she can have a easy transition. I took her to family night Monday. She has been saying things like "I forgot my winter coat. I better be sure to pack that." And she told Ashley Monday night over the phone "I'm doing really good. I can't take care of myself anymore and that's ok. All I have to do is sit around and they feed me breakfast, lunch, and dinner." She's told me that she likes it here. I think once she got here she realized that it isn't that bad - in fact it is good. 

Suzy and Crystal decorated her room very nice with lots of photos from her house. I think it feels like home for her. Elese has been extra bouncy as she is adjusting. Sam has been digressing a bit with speech and wouldn't go to bed the first night. When is talk to him he told me (through nods and head shakes) that he was sad grandma moved in but happy that she lives here now. Steven Sam Olivia and I have had a stomach bug. Liv pooped all over me at church so that was nice. I'm hoping that when my mom comes back tomorrow that she will still be happy. I went to see Jennifer the day before this and she said that it's good for her to go home in the beginning for a few days because she can "gather up" any pieces of her spirit that remain there. I took her home for a bit on Monday and she kept gathering things up saying "I need this." "I want my lamps to match." I imagined that with each little thing she was bringing a piece of her spirit too.

Below is a photo of evidence that my mother now lives in our home.