“Close Enough to Touch”
I have served as the second councilor in the Mt. Jordan Relief Society for 2 ½ years. As I have served it has been my responsibility to plan the Relief Society activities for the Sisters to attend. I have asked all of my “important and impressive” friends to speak at different events. I asked Marj Conder to speak twice. She has spoken at our Relief Society Birthday party for both years I have served. I have always felt very good about our activities. They have been very well planned out. The speakers and performers have been top notch. Thankfully, the food has always been in plenty and delicious. So this year, when I started thinking about our Christmas program I was drawing a blank, of course it was only July. As I thought and pondered, a beautiful idea slowly and meekly crept into my heart. I wonder if our ward Sisters could perform the “Women At The Well” program? In August of 2012, I asked Becky Heumann, our very talented and gifted ward music director if she was familiar with the music and if she thought that was even a possibility. I don’t have a lot of musical experience. I told her I didn’t know what I was asking. I told her that I didn’t want to stress her out I (I knew she would be working on the Christmas Sacrament meeting program). I told her that I did not care if we did the program for our Relief Society Christmas program or if we did it in March for the Relief Society Birthday party program. She said she would like to listen to the music again and she would let me know. The following week Becky said that she had thought about it and her biggest concern was trying to find 11 soloists. She was skeptical that she could do that. If she could find the soloist, she thought that it would be a beautiful program to kick off the Christmas season and a wonderful way to celebrate our Savior and his birth. Calling on all of my courage, I told her I would be one of her soloist and asked if I could sing the song, “Close Enough To Touch.” I have always loved this song. I really wanted to be a part of this program, if I could do it. However, I realize that not everyone has the same talents. I have watched American Idol enough times to know that not everyone belongs on stage. I didn’t want to do anything to take away from the night or make people feel uncomfortable. I also realized that it would not be fair to ask 11 sisters to do something I was not willing to try and do myself. I asked Steven, Keith’s brother to listen to me sing this song and tell me if he thought that I could do it. Steven has perfect pitch and I trust his ears. He can hear when the notes vibrate when they are really good. He has taught voice lessons at Snow College. Anyways, he said that I could do it. He could tell I was really scared and he told me it would take a lot of practice. He was right, I didn’t go around singing for anyone, except my preschoolers and in church groups. He gave me some breathing exercises to start practicing. That gave me a little more confidence. I told her our next step was to get the Bishop’s approval. After a few weeks, the Bishop gave us his approval for this activity. Becky and I bought the music for the program with our own money. Becky started talking to people. In a few hours on a Sunday afternoon, she was able to find all eleven soloists. She excitedly called me to report the good news. I was thrilled. When I asked Becky who our soloist were, I was surprised, to say the least. The Sisters who were singing solos were not the ones that I had thought would do so. In our ward, we have some very musical, talented and gifted singers. They have had years of musical experience and training. When I think of music and musical numbers, I think of them. However, most of them, had for one reason or another declined the invitation to join us. The Sister who agreed to be our soloists are wonderful ladies who have put their faith and trust into action. They are not known for their great singing abilities, for the most part, are not even a part of the ward choir and yet there was a great spirit as Becky read me the list of sisters.
1. Women at the Well: Melissa Park and Choir 2. Close Enough to Touch: Natalee Fehr 3. Daughter, Arise: Sheila Porter 4. If Thou Had Been Here: Becky Heumann and Sara Butt 5. Go in Peace: Jocelyn Bangerter 6. Foolish or Wise: Shirley Taylor and Choir 7. Daughters: Choir 8. Day of Tears: Casie Pilling and Choir 9. Miracle From Heaven: Becky Stoddard 10. He Came For Me: Becky Heumann 11. Greater Love: Sara Butt 12. Women at the Well Reprise: Melissa Park and Choir
In September rehearsals started. We asked Janette Burk to be our main pianist and Sara Butt to play two songs as well. One day when I was looking at music on line I found a complete orchestration of Women At The Well. There was even a track that had the back up singers for the songs that needed them. I excitedly called Becky and told her what I had found. She said that she had received a gift card for I-tunes for service given at her kids elementary. She had no idea what to get with it, she would buy this track and make copies for the sisters to practice their songs with. That is exactly what she did, she bought the track and made CD’s for the sisters. The Sisters could listen to the song they were going to sing with someone singing it as well as with just the orchestration. Becky started to schedule Saturday morning rehearsals. Rehearsals started at 8:00 A.M. and went through 11:00 A.M. Becky would work with each singer, who wanted help, individually for a half hour. My first singing practice with Becky was so nerve wracking. I was scared out of my mind and didn’t feel like I had enough air to breathe let alone sing. I was told that I was not breathing correctly and that I needed to breathe deeper. I didn’t know how too. I was asked to lie on the floor and sing and then given some more breathing exercises to do. I started practicing breathing whenever I remembered to do so. My kids or Keithy would look at me and teasingly say something like, “Your breathing again aren’t you.” To which I would say something smart like, “I’ve been breathing the whole time. I’ve just been doing it wrong.” My first rehearsal was also the first time I had ever sung with an accompanist. Sara Butt played my song. She seemed to struggle with the music and I struggled trying to follow her. I was informed that she was trying to follow me. That explains a lot of the struggle we both experienced. After my rehearsal time was over Becky, Janette, Sara and I discussed the music. Sara, who is a gifted musician and a graduated music major, told me that this music was the most difficult music she had ever seen or played. She said that she could learn the two pieces that she had been asked too, but it would take months of practicing. I was worried about Janette, who was carrying the bulk of our program. Sunday afternoon practices began. The group of women gathered to learn the back up for the songs. Karen Timothy and Diane Stoker have supported our efforts by babysitting all of the children at Becky’s home; many of the sisters have husbands with large callings. After our first practice, Janette was so flustered. I worried about the load I had asked her to carry. Becky and I decided we needed to talk to her. We called and left messages, sent her texts and even Facebooked her. We couldn’t get a response from her. Finally the following Saturday she returned my call. Janette explained how she was working a crazy busy work schedule. She would wake at 5:00 A.M and get to work early so she could be home by 7 or 8 P.M. and then practice the piano until 11:00 P.M. Once I understood her schedule, I explained to her that we could use the minus track if we needed too. The orchestration was already provided and was beautiful. Each soloist could practice as often as they wanted too, if we used the CD, with their own music or we could continue with the piano. After talking to Sara, and to Janette, we decided to fast for direction. We were also pondering where to perform, on the stage or in the chapel. We also fasted that each sister would be able to do her very best and feel the Savior’s love for them. As we fasted I felt a strong peace. I know we are supposed to be doing this program. I saw Janette in the hall at church and we talked about how we were feeling. She told me that I must be inspired by God because she was feeling so overwhelmed and didn’t want to let anyone down or crush anyone’s dreams. I told her that I felt strongly that we should use the minus track and not have her struggle to carry that unnecessary load. Some burdens can be avoided if we are wise. Janette has a very impressive job, serves in the Young Women, as well as being the choir pianist. The Christmas program is coming up and she was very stressed. She was so relieved when we decided to use the minus track, and so was Sara. Rehearsals have continued. For weeks now we have met with Becky on Saturday and Sunday. I am feeling more confident as a singer and I have learned a lot. I had no idea that singing was so technical. On Sunday, October 28, we had our first program run through. We each sang our solos to the other women in the cast. It was absolutely beautiful! Each Sister got up and did her best, and although not perfect, the spirit that was there was perfect. I was so proud of each woman. Each song was perfect for her, and I could feel the spirit testifying once again that this program was going to be something special. I was also thankful to be a part of the group. When I sang I thought my heart might burst out of my chest. I was so nervous. But the group was very loving and supportive. They clapped and cheered after each sister had sung and were full of positive comments. From what I understand performers love that nervous excitement. It made me feel kind of sick but was most exhilarating. Sara informed us that bananas and potatoes have a calming influence on nerves. I have been eating bananas ever since. Becky realized that the sisters in our group were struggling learning parts to back up some of the songs. She sang each song with her i-pod and recorded her singing. She then gave each sisters another CD with their own parts. Becky’s talents and dedication amaze me. She has worked nonstop for this production. Each time that I meet a hurdle with this production or start to feel afraid, I remembered the words of my song. “If I am close enough to touch, close enough to heal, somehow I know, I’ll be whole. Close enough to feel his love for me so real, I will believe there are miracles for me, when I’m close enough to touch.” As I was explaining to Becky how I am seeing miracles with this production, she also shared a secret with me. Becky is pregnant. Usually, she is very sick with morning sickness. However, this time, she is not. She feels it is a blessing because of all of the time she is devoting to this production. As she spoke, I could feel the spirit. We are being blessed as we practice and rehearse. I have every confidence that the Lord can and will help us during this program if we do all that we can, He will make up the difference and help us to be instruments in His hands to touch the Sisters in our ward. At first, I struggled holding it together as I sang my song. Now I struggle with each additional song. As these different women met our Savior, he really did change their lives. He lifted and blessed and I hope we can be instruments to help do the same for him. The miracles continue, as we near this production. Becky told me that we needed to get a very special narrator, someone who could read with real emotion. As I pondered it, Jane Crawford came to mind. Jane is a retired kindergarten teacher. She absolutely loves reading and books. She brings such a great spirit as she testifies of our Savior through the written word. Now, I am also struggling not to cry as she reads. On a personal note, on Thanksgiving day I woke up with the most excruciating back ache I have ever had in my life. It started in the front where my ovaries are and went through. I wondered if I had a need to go to the hospital. It was so excruciating. I asked Keith and Spence for a blessing. As Keith blessed me, he told me that through my faith I would be healed. I have been. I spent a lot of the day laying on my bed and crying. Also, miraculously, my period came a week early so I don’t have to struggle with that as well as the program. To you that might not seem like much, but to me it is huge. I am already struggling to hold it together emotionally, can you imagine adding that on top of it. I don’t know if there is a correlation to my back ache and my early period. I am just thankful that I am healed from both. I arranged with Brother White to teach Becky and me how to use the Crab (the device used to plug my i-pod into the chapels sound system) and wireless mic (and set it up since he would be at his son’s wedding. Geeze, some people and their priorities. Just teasing!!) He called and asked me to come to the ward to learn just as Whit and Nick got to our home for dinner. I called Becky and we went. Wednesday, November 28, after preschool I went to the chapel to rehearse. I knew that I would be singing at the technical rehearsal on Saturday and I didn’t want that to be my first time singing into the mic at the podium. I took Keith’s keys and went to the chapel. At first, I turned down the mic and sang very quiet. But the second time through I turned the mic back up and started to really sing. One of the many times through I realized that I sounded really good, much better than I had ever sounded before. I was having my miracle that I had been praying for happen. It caught me so off guard that I started to cry. I was so thankful and surprised, which probably says a lot about my faith. I realized that when you pray for a miracle, you shouldn’t be surprised when you get it. I am so grateful. I pray that I can do as well at the program. I also thought a lot about my Mom while I was there singing. It felt like she was there, that this would be a place where she would want to be and that she was proud of me. We had our technical rehearsal on Saturday, December 1, 2012. I was at the ward early to see if they needed help cleaning. They didn’t so I rehearsed my song in the van, once again. This song is like an old friend to me. It really brings me peace and comfort as I hear the music and sing. I bet I have sung this song and listened to this song hundreds of times. My ipod says that it has played this song 60 times. That does not include all of the van singing sessions I have done, or the fact that my ipod had to be reset or the rehearsals at Becky’s home. This song is driving my family crazy. Candace told me that there is a song that is continually stuck in her mind and when she finally gets it out of her head, I start to sing it again. We are all sacrificing for this program. I have learned that my voice is much better if I have sung my song at least four times before I try to sing it at rehearsal. That is a lot of singing. My song takes almost five minutes to sing once. At the rehearsal we discovered a terrible problem. The music was not smooth but would short in and out. Sometimes it would be very loud and sometimes you couldn’t even hear it to sing with. We finally figured out that it was related to the microphone. When we would sing loud into the microphone, the music would be very soft. Hopefully, by using the wireless mic things will work out. Brother White is back, and I will be talking with him today. I typed up the program and asked Pat Swenson if she would work her magic on it and make it look beautiful. Pat agreed and the program looks great. It is so exciting to see things coming together. The program is absolutely beautiful. Today, Dec. 1, is the dress rehearsal. We will meet at the Chapel at 4:00 P.M. so as not to be in competition with the First Presidency’s Christmas Devotional. I am very excited, very thankful and very peaceful. My family is coming to support me. My husband will be there as well as our kids. In a few days this will all be finished. I have mixed emotions about that. I am so excited for this and very thankful for the opportunity. I feel like we have all worked so hard. I have done my very best and now it is up to the Lord. Now is the time to enjoy the program and watch the fruits of our labors and the Lord’s divine help come into unison. I feel like we are “Close Enough To Touch.” At church today, I ironed out the sound system problems, hopefully, with Brother White. He has taken over the sound system for us. I don’t need to worry about that anymore. Whew! I ran off the programs and finished getting the thank you card signed and gift to give to Becky. I felt peaceful all through church. The Bishobric introduced to our ward the new youth program. I could feel the spirit so very strongly as the program was presented. This will help to strengthen all of us. After church, I came home and ate some lunch and then had a nap. Around 2:00 I started to feel nervous and anxious. I started reading my scriptures about peace. Peace started to grow again. I asked Keith for a blessing. It was a beautiful blessing. He told me that Heavenly Father knew of my efforts and the work I had put into this program and he would bless me to do my best. He would bless me to sing my best, and I would be able to hear the parts and fully participate. He blessed me that the program would go smoothly; that we could all remember the words and everyone would do well. He blessed me that we would be able to have the spirit with us and that I would be able to feel peace. He also told me that this program would unite our ward members and that many would remember it forever. I am so thankful for the Priesthood. I cried as Keith gave me this beautiful blessing. He spoke to the secret fears in my heart. I know that Heavenly Father is aware of us and will help us. After my blessing I felt really peaceful but tears were very close to the surface. As the choir met, we all cried a little. We were here and we were going to do our program. It was wonderful to look into the audience and see my dear family. The cast went into a room to pray. Last minute notes were given and Melissa Park asked us to pray for each member of our cast as she was singing. That way you would know that the rest of the group was praying for you as you sang. The program started and before I knew it I was trying to sing my solo. I was very emotional and had a hard time at parts, but I feel really good about it. I sang my song with emotion and I could feel the spirit. I did not sing it pitch perfect, but humbly and meekly. Becky Heuman told me it was so cute to look into the audience and see Candace singing with me. I looked at my family a few times but that made me even more emotional. I was just so thankful for all of my blessings and for this experience and for my family lovingly looking up at me and smiling. They have been so supportive! I feel really peaceful and really thankful. It was very interesting to me to discover that while my performance was not anywhere near perfect, it was my very best at that moment of time and I felt very joyful. I felt a strong peace that my performance was acceptable to Heavenly Father. Everyone in the program did a wonderful job. I really love that we are not professional singers but sisters doing our best and trying to bear our testimonies through the songs we are singing. We are imperfect but the spirit is not. We love each other and support each other. It has been a huge blessing to get to know all of the sisters better in the cast. I have loved the practices and being together. I have loved the spirit of this program. This has been a lot of work but well worth it. I am so thankful. December 5, yesterday, was our Relief Society Christmas party. All day I felt an overwhelming peace. After I taught two preschool classes, I went to the church to help set up. The High Priest group men came and set up tables for us. Diane Stoker and Karen Timothy came and help me set the tables. Kelli Nielsen made gifts for each sister. A small silver bucket filled with chocolate and the invitation for the sisters to come and live as women at the well. Shanade Collins, my Relief Society Committee leader, took over the meal so I didn’t have to worry about the food. She bought the Lasagna, Breadsticks and Cheesecake and was in charge of serving. Kaylene Homer was in charge of the salad. Everyone worked so hard and helped to carry this enormous load together. Brother White set up the sound system. He was so helpful. I went and sang for him as he adjusted the mics. It was a really good practice. I got to run through my song 4 times while he fiddled with the mic and had me stand closer and change mics. I still felt so much peace. I also decided if I could sing while all of that was going on, I would be fine that night. After the sound check, I went home to change my clothes. When I got home Keith and Candace got ready and came with me. I changed into my black skirt and white shirt and we went back to the church. I still felt peace. The cast was rehearsing and making final preparations. Things in the kitchen were going well. Karen Timothy our Relief Society President welcomed everyone and thanked all of the groups for helping. Keith was the Bishopric representative and was asked to give the opening prayer. The cast came into the gym to be a part of the prayer and then we went and finished our rehearsal. At the end of our rehearsal we gathered into a circle and folded our arms and held each others hands. Jane Crawford was asked to give the prayer. She told Heavenly Father that we really needed him and his help. The Spirit was so strong! It teared me up. After dinner was over, our dear Relief Society Sisters started to come into the chapel. I stood with Sara Butt and handed out the programs at the back. As the sisters came in I would ask my friends if they were praying for us and they all said they had prayed several times for us that day. It was such a sweet experience, to know that my friends had been praying for us all day. I could feel it! We started the program and I still felt peace. I told Keith and Candace I was not going to look at them when I sang my song. I loved them too much and they made me cry because they had so much love and support in their eyes. I was so thankful them. Before I knew it, it was my turn, I still felt peace. I sang my song the very best that I could. Keith and Candace, who were on the front row had their heads bowed and looked like they were doing some serious praying. Candace said she was singing with me. I looked at Roseanne Hassett and Julie McDermott, two of my dear friends, who I had confided in my fears and they had tears streaming down their faces. I knew they were praying for me. After my song the rest of program was wonderful. There was such a strong spirit there. I am so thankful for this experience. When the program was over, we, the members of the cast, gave each other hugs and expressed our love for each other. When we entered the cultural hall where the other Relief Society Sisters were having dessert, we received a standing ovation. It was so overwhelming. We had done it! We had worked so hard, faced our fears and put our trust in Heavenly Father. It was a wonderful experience and I am so thankful for it! So many sisters came and thanked me and told me what a wonderful job we had done. Julie McDermott gave me a big hug and through tears thanked me for a wonderful evening. (Julie is my visiting teacher and I had told her how nervous I was when she came visiting teaching at my home. At the visit, she said that she admired my courage and willingness to try.) Another lady told me that my song had really touched her heart. She could feel the emotion of my song and she really had enjoyed it. The room was filled with so much love and support. It was wonderful. I imagine that is what Heaven is like, all cheering for each other, all loving each other, all supportive. Pat Swenson said that she wished she could have taken photos of us in the chapel. We were all glowing and looking so lovingly at each other as we silently prayed for each other. She said she could easily tell that we were united because of the heavenly glow that surrounded us. Cherri Peterson said that she would remember this program for her life and just wished the men and children could have heard it. A few sisters told me that they could feel the unifying power of this program in our Relief Society. Karen Timothy thanked me for following the spirit and providing this wonderful Relief Society Christmas program. Betty teared up as she thanked me for singing from the heart and communicating with her spirit. It was a miracle! I know it wasn’t me, I know that Heavenly Father blessed us all with his spirit. The women in the cast were blessed to do their best and the women in the audience were blessed to feel the spirit. Heavenly Father blessed us all with a beautiful experience that we could all remember and treasure together. Another beautiful blessing from being in this program is that for the past 3 months, I have had these beautiful songs running through my mind pretty much nonstop. They all bring such peace to my soul. The music from this production will never be the same to me again. I will always think of the songs as Melissa’s song or Becky’s song (for each member of the cast.) I sat by Keith and Candace after, and ate dinner. It was wonderful and it was over. So many hugs, so much help such a wonderful experience. I am so thankful that I overcame my fear and asked to be in this program. While we were eating, Jocelyn Bangerter suggested that we go and sing our program at the women’s prision. She made the arrangements and we did so in January. Once again the spirit was very strong. It was such a huge blessing to be a part of this group! I know that the only way this program was so successful was that we had Heavenly help. I give all praise and glory unto Him. I feel like, for a moment, we were “close enough to touch.”
I have served as the second councilor in the Mt. Jordan Relief Society for 2 ½ years. As I have served it has been my responsibility to plan the Relief Society activities for the Sisters to attend. I have asked all of my “important and impressive” friends to speak at different events. I asked Marj Conder to speak twice. She has spoken at our Relief Society Birthday party for both years I have served. I have always felt very good about our activities. They have been very well planned out. The speakers and performers have been top notch. Thankfully, the food has always been in plenty and delicious. So this year, when I started thinking about our Christmas program I was drawing a blank, of course it was only July. As I thought and pondered, a beautiful idea slowly and meekly crept into my heart. I wonder if our ward Sisters could perform the “Women At The Well” program? In August of 2012, I asked Becky Heumann, our very talented and gifted ward music director if she was familiar with the music and if she thought that was even a possibility. I don’t have a lot of musical experience. I told her I didn’t know what I was asking. I told her that I didn’t want to stress her out I (I knew she would be working on the Christmas Sacrament meeting program). I told her that I did not care if we did the program for our Relief Society Christmas program or if we did it in March for the Relief Society Birthday party program. She said she would like to listen to the music again and she would let me know. The following week Becky said that she had thought about it and her biggest concern was trying to find 11 soloists. She was skeptical that she could do that. If she could find the soloist, she thought that it would be a beautiful program to kick off the Christmas season and a wonderful way to celebrate our Savior and his birth. Calling on all of my courage, I told her I would be one of her soloist and asked if I could sing the song, “Close Enough To Touch.” I have always loved this song. I really wanted to be a part of this program, if I could do it. However, I realize that not everyone has the same talents. I have watched American Idol enough times to know that not everyone belongs on stage. I didn’t want to do anything to take away from the night or make people feel uncomfortable. I also realized that it would not be fair to ask 11 sisters to do something I was not willing to try and do myself. I asked Steven, Keith’s brother to listen to me sing this song and tell me if he thought that I could do it. Steven has perfect pitch and I trust his ears. He can hear when the notes vibrate when they are really good. He has taught voice lessons at Snow College. Anyways, he said that I could do it. He could tell I was really scared and he told me it would take a lot of practice. He was right, I didn’t go around singing for anyone, except my preschoolers and in church groups. He gave me some breathing exercises to start practicing. That gave me a little more confidence. I told her our next step was to get the Bishop’s approval. After a few weeks, the Bishop gave us his approval for this activity. Becky and I bought the music for the program with our own money. Becky started talking to people. In a few hours on a Sunday afternoon, she was able to find all eleven soloists. She excitedly called me to report the good news. I was thrilled. When I asked Becky who our soloist were, I was surprised, to say the least. The Sisters who were singing solos were not the ones that I had thought would do so. In our ward, we have some very musical, talented and gifted singers. They have had years of musical experience and training. When I think of music and musical numbers, I think of them. However, most of them, had for one reason or another declined the invitation to join us. The Sister who agreed to be our soloists are wonderful ladies who have put their faith and trust into action. They are not known for their great singing abilities, for the most part, are not even a part of the ward choir and yet there was a great spirit as Becky read me the list of sisters.
1. Women at the Well: Melissa Park and Choir 2. Close Enough to Touch: Natalee Fehr 3. Daughter, Arise: Sheila Porter 4. If Thou Had Been Here: Becky Heumann and Sara Butt 5. Go in Peace: Jocelyn Bangerter 6. Foolish or Wise: Shirley Taylor and Choir 7. Daughters: Choir 8. Day of Tears: Casie Pilling and Choir 9. Miracle From Heaven: Becky Stoddard 10. He Came For Me: Becky Heumann 11. Greater Love: Sara Butt 12. Women at the Well Reprise: Melissa Park and Choir
In September rehearsals started. We asked Janette Burk to be our main pianist and Sara Butt to play two songs as well. One day when I was looking at music on line I found a complete orchestration of Women At The Well. There was even a track that had the back up singers for the songs that needed them. I excitedly called Becky and told her what I had found. She said that she had received a gift card for I-tunes for service given at her kids elementary. She had no idea what to get with it, she would buy this track and make copies for the sisters to practice their songs with. That is exactly what she did, she bought the track and made CD’s for the sisters. The Sisters could listen to the song they were going to sing with someone singing it as well as with just the orchestration. Becky started to schedule Saturday morning rehearsals. Rehearsals started at 8:00 A.M. and went through 11:00 A.M. Becky would work with each singer, who wanted help, individually for a half hour. My first singing practice with Becky was so nerve wracking. I was scared out of my mind and didn’t feel like I had enough air to breathe let alone sing. I was told that I was not breathing correctly and that I needed to breathe deeper. I didn’t know how too. I was asked to lie on the floor and sing and then given some more breathing exercises to do. I started practicing breathing whenever I remembered to do so. My kids or Keithy would look at me and teasingly say something like, “Your breathing again aren’t you.” To which I would say something smart like, “I’ve been breathing the whole time. I’ve just been doing it wrong.” My first rehearsal was also the first time I had ever sung with an accompanist. Sara Butt played my song. She seemed to struggle with the music and I struggled trying to follow her. I was informed that she was trying to follow me. That explains a lot of the struggle we both experienced. After my rehearsal time was over Becky, Janette, Sara and I discussed the music. Sara, who is a gifted musician and a graduated music major, told me that this music was the most difficult music she had ever seen or played. She said that she could learn the two pieces that she had been asked too, but it would take months of practicing. I was worried about Janette, who was carrying the bulk of our program. Sunday afternoon practices began. The group of women gathered to learn the back up for the songs. Karen Timothy and Diane Stoker have supported our efforts by babysitting all of the children at Becky’s home; many of the sisters have husbands with large callings. After our first practice, Janette was so flustered. I worried about the load I had asked her to carry. Becky and I decided we needed to talk to her. We called and left messages, sent her texts and even Facebooked her. We couldn’t get a response from her. Finally the following Saturday she returned my call. Janette explained how she was working a crazy busy work schedule. She would wake at 5:00 A.M and get to work early so she could be home by 7 or 8 P.M. and then practice the piano until 11:00 P.M. Once I understood her schedule, I explained to her that we could use the minus track if we needed too. The orchestration was already provided and was beautiful. Each soloist could practice as often as they wanted too, if we used the CD, with their own music or we could continue with the piano. After talking to Sara, and to Janette, we decided to fast for direction. We were also pondering where to perform, on the stage or in the chapel. We also fasted that each sister would be able to do her very best and feel the Savior’s love for them. As we fasted I felt a strong peace. I know we are supposed to be doing this program. I saw Janette in the hall at church and we talked about how we were feeling. She told me that I must be inspired by God because she was feeling so overwhelmed and didn’t want to let anyone down or crush anyone’s dreams. I told her that I felt strongly that we should use the minus track and not have her struggle to carry that unnecessary load. Some burdens can be avoided if we are wise. Janette has a very impressive job, serves in the Young Women, as well as being the choir pianist. The Christmas program is coming up and she was very stressed. She was so relieved when we decided to use the minus track, and so was Sara. Rehearsals have continued. For weeks now we have met with Becky on Saturday and Sunday. I am feeling more confident as a singer and I have learned a lot. I had no idea that singing was so technical. On Sunday, October 28, we had our first program run through. We each sang our solos to the other women in the cast. It was absolutely beautiful! Each Sister got up and did her best, and although not perfect, the spirit that was there was perfect. I was so proud of each woman. Each song was perfect for her, and I could feel the spirit testifying once again that this program was going to be something special. I was also thankful to be a part of the group. When I sang I thought my heart might burst out of my chest. I was so nervous. But the group was very loving and supportive. They clapped and cheered after each sister had sung and were full of positive comments. From what I understand performers love that nervous excitement. It made me feel kind of sick but was most exhilarating. Sara informed us that bananas and potatoes have a calming influence on nerves. I have been eating bananas ever since. Becky realized that the sisters in our group were struggling learning parts to back up some of the songs. She sang each song with her i-pod and recorded her singing. She then gave each sisters another CD with their own parts. Becky’s talents and dedication amaze me. She has worked nonstop for this production. Each time that I meet a hurdle with this production or start to feel afraid, I remembered the words of my song. “If I am close enough to touch, close enough to heal, somehow I know, I’ll be whole. Close enough to feel his love for me so real, I will believe there are miracles for me, when I’m close enough to touch.” As I was explaining to Becky how I am seeing miracles with this production, she also shared a secret with me. Becky is pregnant. Usually, she is very sick with morning sickness. However, this time, she is not. She feels it is a blessing because of all of the time she is devoting to this production. As she spoke, I could feel the spirit. We are being blessed as we practice and rehearse. I have every confidence that the Lord can and will help us during this program if we do all that we can, He will make up the difference and help us to be instruments in His hands to touch the Sisters in our ward. At first, I struggled holding it together as I sang my song. Now I struggle with each additional song. As these different women met our Savior, he really did change their lives. He lifted and blessed and I hope we can be instruments to help do the same for him. The miracles continue, as we near this production. Becky told me that we needed to get a very special narrator, someone who could read with real emotion. As I pondered it, Jane Crawford came to mind. Jane is a retired kindergarten teacher. She absolutely loves reading and books. She brings such a great spirit as she testifies of our Savior through the written word. Now, I am also struggling not to cry as she reads. On a personal note, on Thanksgiving day I woke up with the most excruciating back ache I have ever had in my life. It started in the front where my ovaries are and went through. I wondered if I had a need to go to the hospital. It was so excruciating. I asked Keith and Spence for a blessing. As Keith blessed me, he told me that through my faith I would be healed. I have been. I spent a lot of the day laying on my bed and crying. Also, miraculously, my period came a week early so I don’t have to struggle with that as well as the program. To you that might not seem like much, but to me it is huge. I am already struggling to hold it together emotionally, can you imagine adding that on top of it. I don’t know if there is a correlation to my back ache and my early period. I am just thankful that I am healed from both. I arranged with Brother White to teach Becky and me how to use the Crab (the device used to plug my i-pod into the chapels sound system) and wireless mic (and set it up since he would be at his son’s wedding. Geeze, some people and their priorities. Just teasing!!) He called and asked me to come to the ward to learn just as Whit and Nick got to our home for dinner. I called Becky and we went. Wednesday, November 28, after preschool I went to the chapel to rehearse. I knew that I would be singing at the technical rehearsal on Saturday and I didn’t want that to be my first time singing into the mic at the podium. I took Keith’s keys and went to the chapel. At first, I turned down the mic and sang very quiet. But the second time through I turned the mic back up and started to really sing. One of the many times through I realized that I sounded really good, much better than I had ever sounded before. I was having my miracle that I had been praying for happen. It caught me so off guard that I started to cry. I was so thankful and surprised, which probably says a lot about my faith. I realized that when you pray for a miracle, you shouldn’t be surprised when you get it. I am so grateful. I pray that I can do as well at the program. I also thought a lot about my Mom while I was there singing. It felt like she was there, that this would be a place where she would want to be and that she was proud of me. We had our technical rehearsal on Saturday, December 1, 2012. I was at the ward early to see if they needed help cleaning. They didn’t so I rehearsed my song in the van, once again. This song is like an old friend to me. It really brings me peace and comfort as I hear the music and sing. I bet I have sung this song and listened to this song hundreds of times. My ipod says that it has played this song 60 times. That does not include all of the van singing sessions I have done, or the fact that my ipod had to be reset or the rehearsals at Becky’s home. This song is driving my family crazy. Candace told me that there is a song that is continually stuck in her mind and when she finally gets it out of her head, I start to sing it again. We are all sacrificing for this program. I have learned that my voice is much better if I have sung my song at least four times before I try to sing it at rehearsal. That is a lot of singing. My song takes almost five minutes to sing once. At the rehearsal we discovered a terrible problem. The music was not smooth but would short in and out. Sometimes it would be very loud and sometimes you couldn’t even hear it to sing with. We finally figured out that it was related to the microphone. When we would sing loud into the microphone, the music would be very soft. Hopefully, by using the wireless mic things will work out. Brother White is back, and I will be talking with him today. I typed up the program and asked Pat Swenson if she would work her magic on it and make it look beautiful. Pat agreed and the program looks great. It is so exciting to see things coming together. The program is absolutely beautiful. Today, Dec. 1, is the dress rehearsal. We will meet at the Chapel at 4:00 P.M. so as not to be in competition with the First Presidency’s Christmas Devotional. I am very excited, very thankful and very peaceful. My family is coming to support me. My husband will be there as well as our kids. In a few days this will all be finished. I have mixed emotions about that. I am so excited for this and very thankful for the opportunity. I feel like we have all worked so hard. I have done my very best and now it is up to the Lord. Now is the time to enjoy the program and watch the fruits of our labors and the Lord’s divine help come into unison. I feel like we are “Close Enough To Touch.” At church today, I ironed out the sound system problems, hopefully, with Brother White. He has taken over the sound system for us. I don’t need to worry about that anymore. Whew! I ran off the programs and finished getting the thank you card signed and gift to give to Becky. I felt peaceful all through church. The Bishobric introduced to our ward the new youth program. I could feel the spirit so very strongly as the program was presented. This will help to strengthen all of us. After church, I came home and ate some lunch and then had a nap. Around 2:00 I started to feel nervous and anxious. I started reading my scriptures about peace. Peace started to grow again. I asked Keith for a blessing. It was a beautiful blessing. He told me that Heavenly Father knew of my efforts and the work I had put into this program and he would bless me to do my best. He would bless me to sing my best, and I would be able to hear the parts and fully participate. He blessed me that the program would go smoothly; that we could all remember the words and everyone would do well. He blessed me that we would be able to have the spirit with us and that I would be able to feel peace. He also told me that this program would unite our ward members and that many would remember it forever. I am so thankful for the Priesthood. I cried as Keith gave me this beautiful blessing. He spoke to the secret fears in my heart. I know that Heavenly Father is aware of us and will help us. After my blessing I felt really peaceful but tears were very close to the surface. As the choir met, we all cried a little. We were here and we were going to do our program. It was wonderful to look into the audience and see my dear family. The cast went into a room to pray. Last minute notes were given and Melissa Park asked us to pray for each member of our cast as she was singing. That way you would know that the rest of the group was praying for you as you sang. The program started and before I knew it I was trying to sing my solo. I was very emotional and had a hard time at parts, but I feel really good about it. I sang my song with emotion and I could feel the spirit. I did not sing it pitch perfect, but humbly and meekly. Becky Heuman told me it was so cute to look into the audience and see Candace singing with me. I looked at my family a few times but that made me even more emotional. I was just so thankful for all of my blessings and for this experience and for my family lovingly looking up at me and smiling. They have been so supportive! I feel really peaceful and really thankful. It was very interesting to me to discover that while my performance was not anywhere near perfect, it was my very best at that moment of time and I felt very joyful. I felt a strong peace that my performance was acceptable to Heavenly Father. Everyone in the program did a wonderful job. I really love that we are not professional singers but sisters doing our best and trying to bear our testimonies through the songs we are singing. We are imperfect but the spirit is not. We love each other and support each other. It has been a huge blessing to get to know all of the sisters better in the cast. I have loved the practices and being together. I have loved the spirit of this program. This has been a lot of work but well worth it. I am so thankful. December 5, yesterday, was our Relief Society Christmas party. All day I felt an overwhelming peace. After I taught two preschool classes, I went to the church to help set up. The High Priest group men came and set up tables for us. Diane Stoker and Karen Timothy came and help me set the tables. Kelli Nielsen made gifts for each sister. A small silver bucket filled with chocolate and the invitation for the sisters to come and live as women at the well. Shanade Collins, my Relief Society Committee leader, took over the meal so I didn’t have to worry about the food. She bought the Lasagna, Breadsticks and Cheesecake and was in charge of serving. Kaylene Homer was in charge of the salad. Everyone worked so hard and helped to carry this enormous load together. Brother White set up the sound system. He was so helpful. I went and sang for him as he adjusted the mics. It was a really good practice. I got to run through my song 4 times while he fiddled with the mic and had me stand closer and change mics. I still felt so much peace. I also decided if I could sing while all of that was going on, I would be fine that night. After the sound check, I went home to change my clothes. When I got home Keith and Candace got ready and came with me. I changed into my black skirt and white shirt and we went back to the church. I still felt peace. The cast was rehearsing and making final preparations. Things in the kitchen were going well. Karen Timothy our Relief Society President welcomed everyone and thanked all of the groups for helping. Keith was the Bishopric representative and was asked to give the opening prayer. The cast came into the gym to be a part of the prayer and then we went and finished our rehearsal. At the end of our rehearsal we gathered into a circle and folded our arms and held each others hands. Jane Crawford was asked to give the prayer. She told Heavenly Father that we really needed him and his help. The Spirit was so strong! It teared me up. After dinner was over, our dear Relief Society Sisters started to come into the chapel. I stood with Sara Butt and handed out the programs at the back. As the sisters came in I would ask my friends if they were praying for us and they all said they had prayed several times for us that day. It was such a sweet experience, to know that my friends had been praying for us all day. I could feel it! We started the program and I still felt peace. I told Keith and Candace I was not going to look at them when I sang my song. I loved them too much and they made me cry because they had so much love and support in their eyes. I was so thankful them. Before I knew it, it was my turn, I still felt peace. I sang my song the very best that I could. Keith and Candace, who were on the front row had their heads bowed and looked like they were doing some serious praying. Candace said she was singing with me. I looked at Roseanne Hassett and Julie McDermott, two of my dear friends, who I had confided in my fears and they had tears streaming down their faces. I knew they were praying for me. After my song the rest of program was wonderful. There was such a strong spirit there. I am so thankful for this experience. When the program was over, we, the members of the cast, gave each other hugs and expressed our love for each other. When we entered the cultural hall where the other Relief Society Sisters were having dessert, we received a standing ovation. It was so overwhelming. We had done it! We had worked so hard, faced our fears and put our trust in Heavenly Father. It was a wonderful experience and I am so thankful for it! So many sisters came and thanked me and told me what a wonderful job we had done. Julie McDermott gave me a big hug and through tears thanked me for a wonderful evening. (Julie is my visiting teacher and I had told her how nervous I was when she came visiting teaching at my home. At the visit, she said that she admired my courage and willingness to try.) Another lady told me that my song had really touched her heart. She could feel the emotion of my song and she really had enjoyed it. The room was filled with so much love and support. It was wonderful. I imagine that is what Heaven is like, all cheering for each other, all loving each other, all supportive. Pat Swenson said that she wished she could have taken photos of us in the chapel. We were all glowing and looking so lovingly at each other as we silently prayed for each other. She said she could easily tell that we were united because of the heavenly glow that surrounded us. Cherri Peterson said that she would remember this program for her life and just wished the men and children could have heard it. A few sisters told me that they could feel the unifying power of this program in our Relief Society. Karen Timothy thanked me for following the spirit and providing this wonderful Relief Society Christmas program. Betty teared up as she thanked me for singing from the heart and communicating with her spirit. It was a miracle! I know it wasn’t me, I know that Heavenly Father blessed us all with his spirit. The women in the cast were blessed to do their best and the women in the audience were blessed to feel the spirit. Heavenly Father blessed us all with a beautiful experience that we could all remember and treasure together. Another beautiful blessing from being in this program is that for the past 3 months, I have had these beautiful songs running through my mind pretty much nonstop. They all bring such peace to my soul. The music from this production will never be the same to me again. I will always think of the songs as Melissa’s song or Becky’s song (for each member of the cast.) I sat by Keith and Candace after, and ate dinner. It was wonderful and it was over. So many hugs, so much help such a wonderful experience. I am so thankful that I overcame my fear and asked to be in this program. While we were eating, Jocelyn Bangerter suggested that we go and sing our program at the women’s prision. She made the arrangements and we did so in January. Once again the spirit was very strong. It was such a huge blessing to be a part of this group! I know that the only way this program was so successful was that we had Heavenly help. I give all praise and glory unto Him. I feel like, for a moment, we were “close enough to touch.”
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