After Elese had such a great experience with her visit to Jen, I decided that I was due for a turn. Motherhood can be pretty challenging and when you add caregiver to the list I was in dire need of a little tune up. Just over 2 months until my mom would be moving in and she wasn't very happy about it. Everytime I'd see her we would get into an argument.
We worked on things with my brother Spencer that had do do with my childhood and feeling like I was always in his shadow and had to put on a show to be noticed when he was around.
I felt much lighter after. Spence texted me after apologizing for something
else, it was pretty funny because during the session Jen mentioned that sometimes people will call you when you are doing work that involves them. Kind of funny.
It was a wonderful experience and prepared me for the rest of the day...cleaning out my mom's house.
After my visit with Jen I went to my moms house to cleaned out the garage. Spence was on board with my mom moving in with me but kept wanting us to postpone it so I was concerned there would be some arguments or discussions regarding that but fortunately, there weren't any problems. I think my session with Jen helped things run smoothly. Trevor and Caitlyn helped out with Olivia but she was a bit of a crabby pants.
Steven fed Olivia an ice cream sandwich...
I had DeAnn sort come pictures and mom helped. That kept her happy and
distracted. She was very good and didn't complain. She did say that Spence couldn't have her Christmas tree because she wants to come home on
Christmas. She has also been saying that she will live with me Tuesday-Friday and come home on the weekends and for family night. That is some progress but not an option, it doesn't work logistically and I did not want to have to fight with her every time I tried to bring her back to my house.
I have been reading the 36 Hour Day and I feel very strongly that she has Alzheimer's, not just dementia . I was off a bit yesterday. Processing Steven leaving town
for a week and a half and essentially morning my mom. I used some of
Jennifer's tools. I talked to my moms spirit. Said I know the things
that she does that drive me crazy are her condition and she can't help it. I
told her that I can't see her as my mom. I need to see her as someone or something
else, a disease that is in my moms body. I will try and see her spirit but in order to care for her I need
to see her as the person I care for and not as the person who should be
caring for me. I processed this all day and then talked to Steven about
it last night. He also gave me a blessing. It was interesting with
Jennifer - my thoughts seemed to clog when I needed to say something
important to help me heal. It was the same when I would talk to Steven.
I'm not sure if my spirit was struggling letting things go or if my body
and mind were. This is a challenging time for me and my family but I know that we will all learn and grow from it.
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